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2085 Redefining Americaand her credit score. For so long I told myself I was not this woman%u2014utterly human and flawed. I worked overtime to be anything but this woman, and it was exhausting and unsustainable and even harder than simply embracing who I am.%u2022 %u2022 %u2022Maybe I%u2019m a bad feminist, but I am deeply committed to the issues important to the feminist movement. I have strong opinions about misogyny, institutional sexism that consistently places women at a disadvantage, the inequity in pay, the cult of beauty and thinness, the repeated attacks on reproductive freedom, violence against women, and on and on. I am as committed to fighting fiercely for equality as I am committed to disrupting the notion that there is an essential feminism.I%u2019m the kind of feminist who is appalled by the phrase %u201clegitimate rape%u201d and by political candidates such as Missouri%u2019s Todd Akin, who in an interview reaffirmed his commitment to opposing abortion, almost unilaterally. He said, %u201cIf it%u2019s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down. But let%u2019s assume that maybe that didn%u2019t work or something: I think there should be some punishment, but the punishment ought to be of the rapist, and not attacking the child,%u201d drawing from pseudoscience and a lax cultural attitude toward rape.Being a feminist, however, even a bad one, has also taught me that the need for feminism and advocacy also applies to seemingly less serious issues like a Top 40 song or a comedian%u2019s puerile humor. The existence of these lesser artifacts of our popular culture is made possible 15by the far graver issues we are facing. The ground has long been softened.%u2022 %u2022 %u2022At some point, I got it into my head that a feminist was a certain kind of woman. I bought into grossly inaccurate myths about who feminists are %u2014 militant, perfect in their politics and person, man-hating, humorless. I bought into these myths even though, intellectually, I know better. I%u2019m not proud of this. I don%u2019t want to buy into these myths anymore. I don%u2019t want to cavalierly disavow feminism like far too many other women have done.Bad feminism seems like the only way I can both embrace myself as a feminist and be myself, and so I write. I chatter away on Twitter about everything that makes me angry and all the small things that bring me joy. I write blog posts about the meals I cook as I try to take better care of myself, and with each new entry, I realize that I%u2019m undestroying myself after years of allowing myself to stay damaged. The more I write, the more I put myself out into the world as a bad feminist but, I hope, a good woman %u2014 I am being open about who I am and who I was and where I have faltered and who I would like to become.No matter what issues I have with feminism, I am a feminist. I cannot and will not deny the importance and absolute necessity of feminism. Like most people, I%u2019m full of contradictions, but I also don%u2019t want to be treated like shit for being a woman.I am a bad feminist. I would rather be a bad feminist than no feminist at all. 201420Copyright %u00a9 Bedford, Freeman & Worth Publishers. Distributed by Bedford, Freeman & Worth Publishers. For review purposes only. Not for redistribution.