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204 PILLAR 2 Development and LearningLove and MarriageDo opposites really attract? Yes, but only if we%u2019re talking about magnets. It doesn%u2019t really work for love. And love by any name%u2014commitment, devotion, intimacy, or attachment%u2014is vital to a happy adulthood. Love lasts longer and is most satisfying when it is marked by the following qualities:%u2022 Intimate self-disclosure (that is, sharing embarrassing moments or deep secrets)%u2022 Shared emotional support (like empathy when things go wrong) and material (monetary) support%u2022 Similar interests (leisure activities) and values (political, moral, and religious)For many people, love translates into marriage. In the United States, roughly 80 percent of our population gets married by age 40. The average ages of those getting marred is around 29 years old, and that average age has been increasing for the past several decades.49 In fact, marriages are more likely to last if both members are in their mid-twenties or older, have a stable income from good employment, dated a long time (at least a year) before getting married, and are well educated.50 Out of every two marriages in the United States, one will end in divorce.51 Three out of four people who divorce will marry a second time.52Despite the prevalence of divorce, the bond of marriage remains a popular living arrangement, just as it has in various human societies through the centuries. One reason the institution of marriage endures is because of the well-being it brings to the couple. Married people report greater happiness than unmarried, separated, or divorced individuals.53 Women in committed same-sex relationships also report greater well-being than those who remain alone.54,55Must a marriage be free of conflict to last? No. In fact, few marriages avoid conflict, but one indicator of marital success is the way that couples interact. In stable marriages, positive interactions typically outnumber negative ones by 5-to-1. Marriages last when each partner compliments, hugs, and smiles at least five times more than they insult or criticize.56Love and marriage often bring children, an event that is usually met with great happiness. However, raising a child requires a serious investment of time, money, and emotion, which can exact a heavy toll on a couple%u2019s satisfaction with each other. As couples make the transition to being parents, they may disagree about the division of labor in the new family structure. More women are working outside the home than ever before, and making more money, but they still seem to do more of the unpaid household labor than their male partners.57 Couples who make the effort to spread the workload more evenly can anticipate a double reward: a more satisfying and successful marriage and better parent%u2013child relationships for both parents.58The empty nest syndrome, when children move out of the house, is also a significant event for many middle-aged adults. Yet you may be surprised to hear that an empty nest brings more Sharing the LoadCouples who balance household duties, including chores and childcare, have a more satisfying marriage and better relationships with their children.fizkes/Shutterstock.comA Happy UnionMarried people report greater happiness than unmarried, separated, or divorced individuals.Renata Angerami/E+/Getty Images%u00a9 Bedford, Freeman & Worth Publishers. For review purposes only. Do not distribute.