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to have a baby or a reality show (or both). We’d   zero recognition for it. They were just kind of
              5
                     stay for hours chewing on straws and gossiping   expected to build the sets, like the janitors were
                     about boys, and collectively only spend about   expected to clean up the hallways.
                     fifteen dollars on one slice of cheesecake and   Though Mavis could have been confused for
                     four Cokes. Then we’d leave and have our regular   a boy from almost every angle, she had the pale
              Narrative
                     dinners at our respective homes. Obviously, the   skin and high cheekbones of an Edith Wharton
                     waiters loathed us. In a way we were worse than   character. Thinking back on her now, she had all
                     the dine-and-dashers because at least the dine-  the prerequisites to be a runway model in New
                     and-dashers only hit up Cheesecake Factory once   York, especially since this was the early ‘90s, when
                     and never showed up again. We, on the other   it was advantageous to look like a flat-chested,
                     hand, thought we were beloved regulars and that   rail-thin boy. But our school was behind the
                     people lit up when we walked in. We’re back,   times, and the aesthetic that ruled was the curvy,
                     Cheesecake Factory! JLMP’s back! Your favorite   petite, all-American Tiffani Amber Thiessen look,
                     cool, young people here to jazz up the joint!  which Polly and Lauren had to some degree. At
                        I know what you’re thinking, that I ditched   school, Mavis was considered neither pretty nor
                     Mavis because she wasn’t as cool as my more   popular. Neither was I, by any stretch of the imag-
                     classically “girly” friends, but that wasn’t it. First   ination, but at least I didn’t tower over the boys in
                     of all, JLMP wasn’t even very cool. High school   our class by a good five inches.
                     girls who have time to be super cliquey are usu-
                     ally not the popular girls. The actual popular
                     girls have boyfriends, and, by that point, have
                     chilled out on intense girl friendships to explore
                     sex and stuff. Not us. Sex? Forget it. JLMP had
                     given up on that happening until grad school.
                     Yep, we were the kind of girls who, at age four-
                     teen, pictured ourselves attending grad school.
                     Getting a good idea of us now?
                        Mavis had her own friends. Maybe because
                     of her height and short hair, she hung out with
                     mostly guys. Her crowd was the techie boys, the
                     ones who built the sets at school and proudly
                     wore all black, covered in dried paint splatter.
                     The techie boys all had fancy names like “Conrad”
                     and “Xander” and “Sebastian.” It’s as if their
                     parents had hoped that by naming them these
                     manly, ornate names, they might have a fighting
                     chance of being the leading men of our school.
                     Unfortunately, the actual leading men in our
                     school were named “Matt” or “Rob” or “Chris”
                     and wouldn’t be caught dead near our student   This is a poster from a film adaptation of Edith
                     theater unless they were receiving a soccer   Wharton’s novel, The Age of Innocence.
                     trophy in a sports assembly. Mavis and her guy   Based on this image, what might Kaling have
                                                                 been going for by comparing Mavis to a
                     pals built gorgeous sets for our plays like Evita,   character in a Wharton novel?
                     Rags, and City of Angels, and got absolutely
             150
                                          Uncorrected proofs have been used in this sample.
                                          Copyright © Bedford, Freeman & Worth Publishers.
                                         Distributed by Bedford, Freeman & Worth Publishers.
                                           For review purposes only. Not for redistribution.

          06_SheaFLL2e_40926_ch05_130_243_6PP.indd   150                                               28/06/22   8:56 AM
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