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beautifully familiar bedroom for my siesta. I Mother said, “Well, I hope it won’t bother her.”
5
could hear Mother and Premila talking through Of course, they were both wrong. I under-
the open door. Mother said, “Do you suppose stood it perfectly, and I remember it all very
she understood all that?” clearly. But I put it happily away, because it had
Premila said, “I shouldn’t think so. She’s a all happened to a girl called Cynthia, and I never
Narrative

baby.” was really particularly interested in her.

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Premila and Santha had their names changed against their will, but there are times when
Pr emila and Santha had their names changed against their will, b ut ther e ar e times when
people change their names by choice. People who are transgender may refer to their given
name as their “dead name,” for example. And when people get married, some decide to
adopt their spouse’s name or create an entirely new name. Read the following excerpt, in
which Marcia K. Morgan examines the relationships among gender, marriage, and surnames.
from Should I Change My Name?

Marcia K. Morgan

Some brides feel pressure from the groom and his relatives to take his name for his family
continuity. Many want to start a new identity as a married person and have one family
name. They see a name change as the outward expression of that new life and role, leaving
behind a past life and status. Changing a name is a tangible way of marking these events.
One woman said she wanted her name to reflect “all of her.” Her identity needed to
include all the names she has used through the years, like badges she has worn with
pride for life’s different phases. She used her birth surname along with two husbands’
names (one past, one present). She felt if she only used her birth surname, it would not
reflect the married years and her role as a wife and mother. She wanted her name to
show the family she was born into and the families into which she chose to marry.
Others view married names and identity differently. They equate eliminating one
person’s name in favor of the other’s as a symbol of inequality in a marriage, with one
person being subsumed and lost in the identity of the other. They feel the practice
of changing names is based on a power imbalance and sexism, and something they
don’t want to perpetuate. When each person in the couple keeps their birth name, it
acknowledges each individual’s value and worth. It honors both of their families as well
as their own personal and professional lives. They make an outward statement that
marriage is the joining of two lives and two identities together while everyone remains
whole. As one woman said, “my husband didn’t adopt me — he married me.”

What factors do people think about when they consider changing their names? What is the
difference between choosing a different name and being forced to change a name? Have
you changed your name or thought about it? Why?

146
Uncorrected proofs have been used in this sample.
Copyright © Bedford, Freeman & Worth Publishers.
Distributed by Bedford, Freeman & Worth Publishers.
For review purposes only. Not for redistribution.

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